Tag: WCW

Promos By Hyphen: The Blankety Blank You Love To Hate

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Some people take this wrestling stuff too far. 

“I hate CM Punk. CM Punk is a punk.” 

“CM Punk is a jerk. I can’t believe he brought up Lawler’s heart attack/Paul Bearer’s death.” 

“Triple H screws over X-Pac every chance he gets.” 

It’s called heat. Heel wrestlers want the crowds to hate them. Do you think its ideal for CM Punk chants to outweigh “Rocky” chants when the WWE Title is on the line? I don’t think so. They want you to hate them. And some wrestlers are so good at it, you can’t help but still cheer for them. 

One of my friends gives me shit about CM Punk every chance he gets. “Punk is gonna lose to the Undertaker. Punk is gonna get his ass whooped tonight. CM Punk isn’t very good at all.” Every time, I look at him and say, “It’s scripted. Would I want CM Punk to win all the time? Sure. But then I’d be complaining about how predictable the storylines are.” And still, he keeps right on talking about how much he doesn’t like him.

I think CM Punk peed in his Cheerios or something. This is all speculation of course. 

Our boy John Cena gets a good share of hate but for different reasons. “Cena can’t wrestle. Cena is always champion. Cena needs to turn heel. Cena always wins. Cena is doing his Superman routine again.” I too had my issues with our boy Cena for most of these things…until he had that match with Brock Lesnar last year at Extreme Rules. I always respected Cena carrying on the face of the company tradition that Hulk Hogan ran with in the 80’s and there’s no denying the work he’s done for the Make-A-Wish Foundation alone, but from 2005-2011, he was WWE Champion or World Heavyweight Champion every year, even holding the WWE Title for 380 days from 2006 to 2007 when he suffered a legit injury. Despite that incredible streak of staying relevant in professional wrestling, the fans turned on him because…that’s what fans do. But any man who has the balls to let Brock Lesnar beat on him for 20+ minutes has all my respect. He may be predictable but you’ll never hear me shitting on our boy John Cena anymore. It also helps that he’s had two classic matches with Punk in the past year and a half as well. 

But our boy John Cena will beat The Rock at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. And the hate will begin anew. 

The Miz was somebody who used to make fellow TricycleOffense.com co-founder Thomas spew venom every time he appeared on screen. When he held the WWE Title in late 2010 to early 2011, Thomas would throw all kinds of colorful language out, as if that would make Miz go back to the locker room. “He can’t wrestle. He’s boring. This is our WWE Champion? I like Alex Riley more than him.” I personally love Miz as a heel and have ever since he had that mini feud with Cena in 2009 when he debuted the first anti-Cena shirt worn on WWE TV. Not to mention the damn near spot on imitation he did of The Rock leading up to WrestleMania XXVII. I felt bad for him when WWE’s writers didn’t know what do with him by mid-2011. 

But now, I may be on the other side of the fence. While I don’t hate Miz the wrestler, I definitely hate Miz as a face. I know he’s only a face right now because The Marine 3: Homefront just came out but watching him toe the line between trying to be a crowd favorite and being his snarky, heel self is painful. And his terrible use of the Figure Four isn’t helping. Hopefully, he’ll get to return to his heel ways in due time but for now, I’m on the Miz hating bus. I did enjoy his interactions with Jericho and Wade Barrett on the last edition of Raw though. 

I hated Triple H when he became a heel in 1999 and DX became a heel faction. But since I missed a huge chunk of wrestling from 2000-07, I missed a large part of his heel run that he’s so hated for and I actually have enjoyed watching his matches. Mike “The Buzz-Saw” Asti’s hate of Triple H stems from the aforementioned horrible treatment of X-Pac at his hands and isn’t really rational but I’ll humor him for a bit.

The man has won the most major championships in WWF/E history. Sure, they recognize Flair as having 16 (he has 22 total) but Trips has the most with one company. 

He’s buried talent in the past. Some have said he’s never liked Jericho, he’s been accused of sending Umaga on the spiral that led to his WWE departure and ultimately his death, and he always seems to find his way into the best feuds, which normally results in his winning (like he will over Brock at WrestleMania NY/NJ). 

And he botches a lot of spots. 

In his defense, who cares how many major titles he’s won? WWE is about entertainment and Triple H can put on a show. He might not have the best move set or the best gimmicks or the best t-shirts (I still can’t find one I’d actually like to own) but when Trips hits that Spinebuster and then the Pedigree, forget about it. This is the reason he’s currently my Undisputed Champion on WWE ’13. And I know Asti will throw a mini fit when he reads that. 

He’s buried a lot of talent but he’s also put over a great deal too. The whole WWE is guilty of not making stars as of late, so why single Triple H out as one of the reasons why? When the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac joined DX when the stable turned face in 1998, their career profiles couldn’t help but be boosted. Same with Randy Orton and Batista in Legacy, no matter how many times Hunter beat them in matches later on. He also helped put over one of the most unlikely major title holders ever in Chris Benoit and that’s not something to sneeze at. 

Has he won a lot of matches that he didn’t deserve to? Sure. But isn’t that how professional wrestling works?

And yes, he does botch a lot of spots. I think more so when he was a regular worker, but a quick Google search produces tons of results about people complaining about his ring prowess. 

I will say though, at WrestleMania XXVII, when The Undertaker attempted that over the top rope onto his opponent on the ground move, his foot caught. And wasn’t nothing on his Earth capable of stopping the spill he was about to take. But Triple H caught him and made it look like a halfway clean move again. 

Any man who can catch The Undertaker out of the air in free fall doesn’t deserve to be bothered about the spots he misses occasionally. 

On the other hand, I don’t see too many people disliking Dolph Ziggler, at least not in the past 2 years or so. When he was a mid-carder and the writers were letting him languish, I didn’t care about him. But it was some time in 2011 when I noticed he was the king of bumps. And he just puts on great matches. I have no idea why he’s still holding his Money In The Bank briefcase but Ziggles time is now. And no matter how much heat he tries to draw, I always seem to catch the crowds cheering for him. There’s no denying his abilities and having him pound on our boy John Cena isn’t going to help his heat either. I really enjoyed his interactions with Zack Ryder on his YouTube show and it’s a shame that we won’t be seeing another serious feud between those two before Ryder’s inevitable release. But seriously, ask any WWE fan their opinions of Ziggler. If they say they hate him, they have to be under the age of 15.

But a wrestler who I haven’t been enjoying as of late is The Rock. That’s right, one of my favorite wrestlers of the Attitude Era and my second professional wrestling era makes me mad on a regular basis. 

The night he appeared on Raw in 2011 to announce that he was hosting WrestleMania XXVII was amazing. Thomas and I hung on his every word that night and I followed his run all the way to the night after WrestleMania when he and our boy Cena agreed to their match at ‘Mania XXVIII. In fact, he was the catalyst to why I even made the trek to Miami last year. I loved his promos when he was on TV, I loved his via satellite promos, and I laughed at every joke made at our boy John’s expense. 

But when he appeared on Raw 1000 and announced that he had been magically granted a WWE Title shot at the Royal Rumble, something flipped. CM Punk turned heel that night with a GTS to the Great One but something still didn’t sit right with me. 

The Rock was going to be WWE Champion again, just because he made time on his schedule to do it. 

So let’s get the fanboy reactions out of the way: “No, I want Punk to stay Champion forever. When did The Rock earn a title shot? There’s no way WWE puts the belt on somebody who can’t be/won’t be on TV every week. I don’t want Punk to lose!”

WWE did this to build up hype for their plans to do a Rock/Cena rematch at WrestleMania NY/NJ. I was among those who were surprised to see Cena lose last year; now we know why. What better way for our boy John Cena to get revenge by not only beating the Rock but also by reclaiming the WWE Title that’s eluded him for a year plus?

So much for once in a lifetime.

That aside, The Rock has been pretty un-electrifying during this run. He always seemed to come up short against Punk verbally and neither of their matches made him look strong at all. Punk pinned him cleanly at least twice at Elimination Chamber and technically beat him at Royal Rumble before Vince came out and restarted the match. When he’s entertaining the crowd, he’s great. But put a wrestler in the ring with him, he stumbles. Hopefully, our boy Cena will bring him back to form.

But that new WWE Championship belt sure is cool. 

I could go on to other past wrestlers like Hogan (he’s a dick and hated jobbing), Nash (said to be one of the reasons WCW got so bad due to booking control), Michaels (was a dick before he became born again), Bret Hart (Okay, I kind of personally hate him. Mostly because I missed his era and I don’t see what the big deal was. I do think the Screwjob was effed though.), or even Goldberg (always read he was a pain to work with, and he ended Hart’s career), but I feel like all of those guys were hated more for backstage reasons than what they did on camera. 

To sum everything up, we’re supposed to hate wrestlers. We’re supposed to want them to lose or win or hit somebody with a chair or marry the boss’ daughter. That’s all part of the game of professional wrestling.

And can you imagine wrestling without those guys? Or if the writers did exactly what we thought they should do every week? I don’t even think there would’ve been an interest in having two major wrestling promotions in the 90’s, let alone the idea of Hulkamania in the 80’s. We need to hate these guys so that we keep pouring our money into this product so we can see them get their comeuppance. Because, at the end of the day, the golden rule still stands: good guys beat the bad guys. Just make sure you tack “eventually” to the end of that in the case of pro wrestling and you have yourself a start for any promotion, big or small. 

But if I have to keep hearing about how much CM Punk sucks from my friend, my next column might be sent from a jail cell. 

Best In The World. 4 Life.

The Howitzer & Buzz-Saw Show – Buzzed With The Buzz-Saw: A Chamber Of Justice (Guest: Kelen “B Hyphen” Conley)

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Professional wrestling talk returns to the Howitzer and Buzz-Saw Show, and does so on the heels of another Pay Per View. The WWE’s Elimination Chamber is now in the books. Mike “the Buzz-Saw” Asti welcomes the ultimate “baby face” to his “heel” persona, as Kelen “B Hyphen” Conley steps back into the HBS ring. These two familiar foes go toe to toe recapping all the action. Expect candid analysis, occasional banter, predictions for what is to come in the coming months for World Wrestling Entertainment, and of course, hear how they would’ve done it all better. If CM Punk could lose his WWE Title, does that mean the Buzz-Saw could actually lose a sports talk session?!

Hear the guitar rip and soak in another installment of the HBS: Buzzed With The Buzz-Saw!


 The Howitzer & Buzz-Saw Show – Buzzed With The Buzz-Saw: A Chamber Of Justice

Slater’s Signature Finisher: Looking at nWo: The Revolution

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I was sending a text message the other day. As I was typing the word, “being,” my phone did something that I thought was amazing – it tried to autocorrect it to nWo. I might like wrestling a little too much…

For those who remember the glory days of the New World Order, nothing else is necessary; you know the story and how awesome it was. And, you also know how horrible the group’s fall from prominence was. But, for those who weren’t around back then, this is for you. 

The WWE recently released a 3-disc retrospective looking back at the history of the New World Order. It continues WWE’s recent streak of releasing solid documentaries that tell the whole story, not just WWE’s version, which has plagued some of their earlier releases. 

One point that is forgotten when talking about wrestling in the late 1990s is summed up very nicely by WCW star “Diamond” Dallas Page in the disc’s opening moments: “Wrestling at that time was a 9.8 out of 10 on the ‘cool meter.’” And, it really was. The cool promotion was WWE, with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and The Rock leading the charge. But, what really hadn’t been told until now is why WWE got so hot and popular in that era. WWE got so amazing because WCW had surpassed them as the premier wrestling promotion, thanks in large part to the nWo. They had to scramble to surpass WCW and they succeeded. 

The disc has a lot of new interviews with a wide variety of names from WCW, including Kevin Nash, Bill DeMott, Billy Kidman, Booker T, Arn Anderson, Dusty Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and X-Pac. Stock footage from the early 2000s from interviews with Eric Bischoff, Scott Hall, and Hulk Hogan are also included.

One of the cooler aspects is that they include interviews with two wrestlers who were children during the nWo days – Cody Rhodes and Joe Hennig (sons, of course, of Dusty Rhodes and Curt Hennig). While both wrestling promotions claimed to aim toward an 18-35 year-old demographic, wrestling really was one of the most popular things with kids back then. Both talk about how they already liked wrestling and started seeing more of their peers wear wrestling shirts and talk about the product once the nWo kicked off. 

It’s not such a big deal now to see Hulk Hogan as a heel, but his turn in 1996 was groundbreaking and nobody expected it. His turn made it work. Nash stresses in his interview that they wanted everything they did to be different than the status quo. Hulk Hogan as a bad guy was different. They didn’t do wrestling promos. They almost did music videos, in black and white as well. The entire presentation was different and it worked for them. 

The evil nWo ran roughshod over WCW until a silent hero descended from the rafters to take them out. That man was Sting. The 15-month angle of Sting not speaking or wrestling and just watching the nWo made for compelling television. Cody Rhodes sums it up better than I can – “It was just beautiful.” And it was. That’s how you book a storyline. 

After a while, the nWo started fighting itself and split off into two groups, the black and white of nWo Hollywood and the red and black Wolfpac. When discussing the nWo, Dusty Rhodes talked about how it was so mainstream and got all of this attention from people who weren’t wrestling fans. He said the start of the downfall of the group was when it split up, noting that it was just a wrestling angle after that.Current WWE commentator Matt Striker summed the Wolfpac in his own unique way: “The Wolfpac was cool, but it’s kind of like when your little sister wants to be in the nWo. It’s like, ‘Alright, you can be in the Wolfpac.’” 

I liked the Wolfpac, personally. But, a lot of people apparently did not. The remainder of the disc looks at the downfall of the group. They talk about poorly-planned storylines and a general feeling of disorganization with the group’s motives. The bloated roster of mid-carders wearing nWo colors is discussed as well. The ill-fated “nWo 2000” featuring Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett is ripped apart for not working. And the 2002 invasion of WWE by the original trio is brought up. 

Overall, it’s a nice set for the two main audiences WWE is going after – hardcore fans and nostalgia buffs. The matches on discs 2 and 3 aren’t bad either. Buy it.

 

A Look Inside Ring Of Honor

Over the summer, Ring of Honor came to Charleston, WV, and I attended the show. It was a television taping for their weekly syndicated show, titled simply “ROH TV”. More on that later.

Ring of Honor formed in 2002 following the demise of World Championship Wrestling and Extreme Championship Wrestling the year prior. The “Big 3” of the 1990’s wrestling war had one victor standing tall – World Wrestling Entertainment.

There needed to be an alternative. Some tried and failed, most notably Jimmy Hart and his XWF, despite featuring Hulk Hogan as its top star. In mid 2002, two promotions started at around the same time – Ring of Honor and NWA: Total Nonstop Action. Both recently celebrated their tenth anniversary shows. Both have also undergone several drastic changes in the last decade.

Initially promoted as a place for all of the top independent professional wrestlers to appear under one roof, ROH quickly gained a reputation as a hard-hitting promotion that promoted wrestling over sports entertainment. With its home base in Philadelphia and rabid fans, comparisons to ECW were obvious. While it wasn’t obvious until a few years later, they shared something similar to ECW – all of their top stars were eventually signed away by one of the bigger companies.

The stars of ROH’s early years reads like a who’s who of today’s WWE and TNA main event scene – AJ Styles (first TNA Grand Slam Champion), Christopher Daniels (multi-time X Division Champion), Samoa Joe (multi-time TNA World and X Division Champion), Low Ki (TNA X Division champion, WWE NXT season 2 winner), Bryan Danielson (World Champion in WWE), CM Punk (WWE and World Champion), Austin Aries (TNA World Champion), Tyler Black (NXT Champion), and Claudio Castagnoli (WWE US Champion) to name a few.

One of the problems facing ROH in the last couple years is that it looks like the promotion has sort of been running on fumes lately. Looking at the promotion right now and its top stars, they look like what they are – the top stars in Ring of Honor. They do not look like future stars in TNA or WWE. Let’s look at the last four ROH champions:

Current champion Kevin Steen, while being a good wrestler, is too heavy and not “PC” enough to fit into one of the major promotions. Previous champion Davey Richards has that classic Chris Benoit style (from back when it was a good thing to say that), but is seemingly too small to make it. Eddie Edwards always surprised me as being an ROH Champion. He just never stuck out to me and while he could put on a technical masterpiece in the ring, that was it. I felt like he was flat as a character. Roderick Strong was always a midcard talent at best, and only made his way to the top of the card after everybody else left. He’s a strong hand in the ring, but like Davey and Eddie, that’s about it.

Of the current ROH roster, I can think of only four talents that I feel have a good chance of getting signed by WWE:

Mike Bennett. He created the perfect heel character for ROH – that he is a sports entertainer and not a wrestler. He is charismatic, flashy, and has the size and build that WWE likes. He is also dating former WWE diva Maria.

Mike Mondo. Mondo had a stint in WWE previously, as part of the male cheerleading group the Spirit Squad. Don’t laugh, Dolph Ziggler was also part of it. It took him awhile in ROH to overcome the bad gimmick stigma, but he has slowly started to earn the respect of the hardcore audience and is seen as a credible wrestler.

Michael Elgin. On the surface, he looks like a stereotypical big guy wrestler who can’t do much. But, looks can be deceiving. He took part in two of Ring of Honor’s best matches this year – title matches against both Davey Richards and Kevin Steen. He has the look that WWE likes and also the wrestling ability that WWE often forgets they need.

Jay Lethal. I’m not sure why he hasn’t made his way to WWE yet honestly. Lethal broke through in the early days of ROH as a gutsy, young kid who always gave it his all. He then went on to TNA and became one of their more popular characters. An association with Kevin Nash led to a one-off Randy Savage impersonation, which then turned into the “Black Machismo” persona that lasted for several years before being transitioned into a hilarious Ric Flair impersonation. He then became his own man in the promotion and looked to become a star before abruptly leaving the company and returning to ROH.

Back to my ROH experience over the summer. It was the company’s first trip to West Virginia and the first ROH show I had ever attended. It came off as a very fake, forced atmosphere.

The first thing I noticed was a man walking around carrying around a garbage bag full of streamers passing them around to people in the lobby. A couple of the wrestlers – Eddie Edwards and the Briscoe Brothers – came up to him and started talking to him. There were a lot of nicely-dressed ROH employees around, but he appeared to be a fan. He was wearing a t-shirt and had several tattoos. But the wrestlers knew him.

During the course of the taping, all of the famous chants took place: the dueling chants (Let’s go Elgin! Let’s go Lethal!) the “This is awesome! Clap-clap, clap-clap-clap” chant, several “Yes! Yes! Yes!” chants, an homage to Daniel Bryan, and of course the infamous “ROH! ROH! ROH!” chant occurred numerous times.

As the show started, I saw the guy passing out the remainder of his streamers. I got two. One was thrown at Roderick Strong and the other was saved for Steve Corino. I spotted him across the room about halfway through the show. He was one of the loudest men there. I kept watching him throughout the night, and with the exception of a few “Yes-es,” that guy started every single crowd chant.

The event came off like we were all playing the part of ROH fans, not that we were so dedicated that we came out and got into the moment. I’m curious as to whether that is the case at every ROH show now. Are there any dedicated ROH fans left? Is the current apathy toward the product due in part to the lack of future “big time” stars in the company?

Check your local listings or go to http://www.rohwrestling.com for more information on the syndicated “ROH TV”.

The Ryback Predicament

I remember watching Extreme Rules with Thomas, Anthony, Moose, and Asti back in April when Ryback made an unscheduled appearance on the stage. As he trudged his way to the ring, Thomas asked me what I thought of this newest addition to the WWE roster.

“Not much. He’s strong, but his in-ring technique can use some work. And squashing a bunch of local nobodies isn’t going to get him over with fans. And the Goldberg chants do not help.”

Ryback went on to squash two wrestlers that night, and despite his ridiculous strength (he had both men up in his Shell Shocked finisher, a cradle suplex lifted and transitioned into a running horizontal muscle buster. Thanks Wikipedia!), I didn’t see the gimmick going anywhere. Extreme Rules was the same PPV where Brock Lesnar had mauled John Cena, so I didn’t see much room for another monster on the roster. Even Brodus Clay had to use the Funkasaurus gimmick to get over with the fans.

Ryback had previously wrestled for WWE as Skip Sheffield in The Nexus but had to bow out of the storyline due to a broken ankle. While The Nexus angle worked well for Wade Barrett, David Otunga, and even Heath Slater, I never paid too much attention to Sheffield. I’ve never been a huge fan of monster characters anyway, aside from Goldberg (my hatred of Lesnar can be heard on any wrestling podcast I’ve done since Extreme Rules) as I find most of them one dimensional. The two monsters in recent memory that I liked were Mason Ryan and Ezekial Jackson but both have been hampered by injuries.

As the months progressed, his unbeaten streak was being mentioned and he moved on from local wrestlers to standard WWE jobbers, but even as recently as June, he was still not being very safe with his opponents. But somehow, the Goldberg chants from the crowd were slowly changing to “Feed! Me! More!”, his signature phrase he would say after squashing another opponent. A feud with longtime jobber Jinder Mahal in July/August seemed to legitimize him as a face and helped get him completely over. But I still wouldn’t have called him ready.

Now, Ryback is less than a week away from facing CM Punk for the WWE Championship at Hell In A Cell. And while this may appeal to the casual fan who hates seeing Punk (who’s in the middle of an almost year long run with the belt) as champ, I just don’t buy it.

After Punk retained in a draw at Night Of Champions1, I couldn’t really see the original plan of a third consecutive Punk/Cena title throwdown working.2 As far as I can tell, the plan is for Punk to retain the belt until the 2013 Royal Rumble, where The Rock will use his magical title shot to get revenge for Raw 1000 and end Punk’s long reign. Having Cena continue to lose to Punk only makes him weaker, something the WWE never wants him to be. The guy is having the worst year of his WWE career (not to mention a real life divorce on top of it) and they can’t justify a Cena/Rock Wrestlemania XXIX rematch for the WWE Title if Cena looks easily beatable.

Enter the elbow surgery. I still can’t tell if the injury is a work or legit but I think Cena’s terrible year has a lot to do with it.3 I think the plan was for Cena to take legitimate time off following his match with Lesnar but the WWE was too afraid to take him off television. This might explain the crappy year, as he was forced to slug through PPVs with (what I believe to be) a legit shoulder injury from Extreme Rules. And with WWE creative so focused on Punk retaining the Title, there’s only so much they can do with Super Cena.

If the ultimate plan is for Cena to beat Rock at WM XXIX, there’s only a few ways to accomplish this:

  • Give Cena the belt for a month or so, then have Punk regain it in time for the Rumble.
  • Have Punk retain constantly until the Rumble. While I’d be okay with that, the ratings and buyrates would surely drop.
  • Have Ziggler cash in on Punk instead of Sheamus, have Cena and Punk duke it out with him until he drops it back to Punk.
  • Redo 1998′s Goldberg storyline with Ryback.

And that’s the best WWE could come up with. Run the man with the unbeaten streak into the man who refuses to lose the belt (Hogan then, Punk now). Hell In A Cell is also in the Georgia Dome, the exact place where Goldberg won the World Heavyweight Championship from Hogan 14 years ago. It doesn’t help that there are no disqualifications in Hell in a Cell matches either, there has to be a clear winner somehow.

Would I put the belt on a barely tested wrestler, even for a short amount of time? No way!

But WWE is apparently worried about making Ryback look weak by having Punk cleanly beat him. Not that a loss to the WWE Title holder wouldn’t make sense to anyone. There’s even a rumor that Lesnar might run in to save a fellow Paul Heyman guy from Ryback.4 But this would waste a precious Lesnar appearance that they were saving for a feud with Triple H or The Undertaker, so I don’t see the sense in this.

Ryback should win the WWE Title this Sunday.

It would re-energize the company, since it always struggles in the 4th quarter of the year to get to the Rumble. They had to bring The Rock to the Survivor Series last year just to keep everyone’s interest after their unsafe working conditions storyline with Triple H fell flat. A dominant, monster, face champion could be fun for a spell as Punk keeps failing to win his belt back. It might give Cena a little bit of time to rest up for next year. It might make the ratings go up.

But I don’t think WWE has the balls to do it.

Asti is probably right5 but there will be some kind of interference from somewhere to save Punk’s behind. Only the Anaconda Vice could be used for Punk to win the match, as there’s no way he gets a clean GTS off. The Hell in a Cell environment gives Punk the advantage of weapons but no one wants to see Ryback clobbered into submission. Maybe there’s even a way to have the Title held up for a future rematch where Punk could cheat his way to victory more easily. But for some reason, WWE refuses to let Sheamus and Punk’s reigns end, no matter how beneficial the outcomes.

So I expect next Monday’s Raw to begin with a smiling CM Punk in the ring with Heyman, boasting about how he defeated the monster Ryback. I’m okay with this, because I’m a CM Punk guy. But as a WWE fan, I’d really like for Ryback to come to the ring with the strap on his shoulder.

Then I want Punk to beat him down with a chair and steal the belt back, all while screaming, “I’m the best in the world!”

But then I would need WWE to start direct depositing money into my account. ASAP.

On the other hand, I just want Asti to be wrong.

The Howitzer & Buzz-Saw Show – Cult Of Personality (Guest: Kelen “B Hyphen” Conley)

Cult of personality is the title of the song CM Punk has been using as his theme ever since he dropped the pipe bomb heard round the world. It has been very fitting for his new heel character and is equally suitable for the Howitzer and Buzz-Saw Show’s resident media personality and heel. Much like CM Punk, Mike “the Buzz-Saw” Asti is the BEST IN THE WORLD at what he does and is a cult of personality.

Mike’s tag team partner for the broadcast is non other than the hip-hop spewing, old school hat rocking, comic book nerd himself, Kelen “B HYPHEN” Conley. When these two get together it gives the feel of a Wrestlemania main event every time.

This match is scheduled for one fall and will feature the CM Punk and Paul Heyman’s pairing, who Punk should fight at the “Hell In A Cell” PPV, the hitting of a fan incident, Vince McMahon’s recent involvement on and off TV, how far WWE will take Team Hell No’s (Daniel Bryan and Kane), and what the future holds for Brock Lesnar. Can B HYPHEN end the Buzz-Saw’s record setting 300+ day championship reign? All I know is he better show Mike the RESPECT he deserves!

Mike “the Buzz-Saw” Asti may be a functioning lunatic and a cult of personality, but he sure does conquer sports radio, one day, at a time….


The Howitzer & Buzz-Saw Show – Cult Of Personality

Ranking The Undertaker’s Best Matches Of The Streak

The biggest event of the WWE calendar is WrestleMania. Every storyline, angle, feud, what-have-you builds throughout the year and culminates at what they’ve dubbed “the grandest stage of them all,” and “the showcase of the immortals.”

Two words have become synonymous with WrestleMania over the last several years: The Streak. The Undertaker, who competed in his first WrestleMania in 1991, has participated in more WrestleMania matches than anybody in history. What’s even more impressive that that statistic is the fact that he has never lost a WrestleMania contest. With his most-recent victory over Triple H earlier this year, he went to 20-0 on the big stage.

With that marketable number in mind, WWE saw fit to release a four-disc retrospective chronicling the Undertaker’s WrestleMania history. Released last month, the first disc features a documentary looking at all 20 matches, featuring comments from WWE personalities and opponents. Since Undertaker is one of the few characters who still abides by the old-time tradition of “kayfabe” (not breaking character, acting like it’s real), the hour-long documentary features in-character comments and looks at each match in that manner.

With Undertaker having such a long history and WWE marketing toward a much-younger audience these days, disc 1 is a good piece for fans who may not know the full history. It’s a good educational piece for casual wrestling fans or young children. It honestly didn’t hold my interest, since I knew about the streak already.

Discs 2, 3 and 4 are where the set becomes worth the money, as all 20 matches are featured in their entirety. The last four years, The Undertaker has been involved in match of the year contenders. The four-year story arc involving Undertaker ending Shawn Michaels career and dealing with Triple H after that has been a thing of beauty. It would have been an amazing six-month feud, had it not been stretched out for four years over WrestleMania season, so to speak.

The thing that WWE has tried to gloss over lately is the fact that The Streak was not something that has been in the works for the last 20 years. Like Jim Ross has mentioned in his blog before, nobody decided to create the streak. Around 8-0, they noticed he was undefeated and mentioned it. Undertaker first mentioned it at 10-0 (he counted to 10 on his fingers after the match). The words “The Streak” were not mentioned until Randy Orton in 2005. And, to be honest, some of those early matches were pretty bad, with his match against Giant Gonzalez being among Undertaker’s worst of his career.

But, if you’re a fan of wrestling, and more specifically, The Undertaker, this set is a must-own. It’s a collection of history, something we will likely never see again.

With this post, we’ll take a look at Undertaker’s 20 matches, ranking them from worst to best. The ranking system includes quality of the match, historical significance, and my biased opinion as a fan. If you agree or think I have no idea what I’m talking about, let me know.

Here we go:

20) Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez (1993) … Jorge Gonzalez was a legit 7’6” former basketball player. He was drafted to the Atlanta Hawks and was not NBA quality. Ted Turner owned both the Hawks and WCW, so Gonzalez became a wrestler. He had an entertaining feud with Ric Flair, but after going to WWE, could not replicate that success with Undertaker, who was not at the stage of his career where he could carry a greener wrestler to a good match. They stood there and hit each other a lot. Gonzalez got disqualified, giving Undertaker his only win not by pinfall or submission. Scary to think that Undertaker could have possibly lost here, as the match was really used to get over Gonzalez to continue their feud.

19) Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka (1991) … The first match in the streak. Snuka had been one of the top stars during the early 1980s and this match was seen as a passing of the torch. The aging veteran was easily dispatched by this newcomer who had debuted only 5 months earlier.

18) Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy (1995) … Undertaker was involved in a feud with Ted DiBiase’s “Million Dollar Corporation” and this match continued that. DiBiase had stolen Undertaker’s urn and Undertaker tried to get it back. He succeeded in the match, but Kama (aka The Godfather) stole it back and melted it down into a necklace. Dumb storyline, but that’s what they did back then. Match was nothing special. The MLB was on strike at the time and a baseball umpire was the referee for the match, as a way to try and get some media attention.

17) Undertaker vs. Diesel (1996) … Kevin Nash’s last WrestleMania before he went to WCW. The match was slow and plodding, with Diesel trying to wear Undertaker down with multiple bear hugs. The crowd was still into it big time, though.

16) Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man (1999) … The first Hell in a Cell match in WM history. Also generally considered one of the worst HIAC matches in history. At the time of its release, this was the only match not included in the HIAC compilation 3-disc set. Boss Man handcuffed Undertaker to the cell and that looked to play a major role in the match, but then the cuff broke within a few minutes and it looks like they had to scramble with a plan B. It didn’t work.

15) Undertaker vs. Big Show and Albert (2003) … Originally supposed to be a tag match with Nathan Jones. WWE reportedly didn’t think the newcomer was ready for a WM match, so they staged a beat down that took him out of action. Action was fast-paced due to Undertaker trying to maintain the advantage over two larger opponents. Match was during the end of his “American Badass” phase, so he got a huge pop for breaking the Tombstone piledriver out, a move he rarely used then. WM19 occurred mere weeks into the US/Iraq war, so one of the biggest pops of the night occurred when Undertaker came to the ring with an American flag.

14) Undertaker vs. Mark Henry (2006) … The only casket match in WM history. Entertaining match, especially considering Henry’s limitations. Mostly remembered for Undertaker’s plancha over the top rope and over the casket, landing on top of Henry. A couple years later, Monday Night Raw hyped several WrestleMania rematches throughout the night and this one was contested again. The outcome was the same. Undertaker is 2-0 against Mark Henry in casket matches.

13) Undertaker vs. Psycho Sid (1997) … Undertaker’s second WWE Championship victory, and first at WM. Sid had his working shoes on that night, as he moved quicker than usual and also came off the top rope several times (I cringed each time, as it conjured up memories of his gruesome 2001 injury). Bret Hart, getting his new heel character over, interfered 3 times in the match. Shawn Michaels, fresh off his “knee injury” and “losing his smile” is on guest commentary. He was full of inside snark and shoot comments that only he could get away with.

12) Undertaker vs. Jake Roberts (1992) … Jake Roberts had turned heel the previous year and had formed a partnership with the equally evil Undertaker. That all changed when Roberts was going to hit Ms. Elizabeth with a chair. Undertaker finally grew a heart and stopped Roberts. This was Roberts’ last match in WWE until 1996. In his WWE DVD documentary, Roberts talks at length about why. Very fascinating backstage politics at work.

11) Undertaker vs. Kane (2004) … Undertaker’s first WM rematch, as he previously faced Kane in 1998. This was the re-debut of Undertaker as “The Deadman,” as Kane had helped Mr. McMahon defeat Undertaker in a “Buried Alive” match at Survivor Series 2003. He buried Undertaker and effectively “killed him,” so Undertaker was now back to being dead and tormenting Kane. Match was somewhat brief, but the introduction for Undertaker was off-the-charts awesome.

10) Undertaker vs. Randy Orton (2005) … Orton had been WWE’s top heel under Triple H. He then usurped HHH as top bad guy, only to have H turn on him. Orton’s run as top face was a bust, so to set his heel turn into action, he decided that he would end The Streak to make a name for himself. It didn’t work. Orton’s father, “Cowboy” Bob Orton was being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame that year and made a cameo appearance with his cast to try and help his son. It didn’t work.

9) Undertaker vs. Triple H (2010) … Undertaker had ended Shawn Michaels’ career and Triple H was out for revenge. This match was nonstop action, with heavy hands, hard falls, and an unprotected chair shot to the head or two (which WWE issued a press release for saying that the two had been fined for). The ending was drama personified, as Undertaker won the match but did not leave the ring under his own power, as he was too exhausted and beat up.

8) Undertaker vs. Kane (1998) … Paul Bearer had tormented Undertaker for months, promising to unleash Undertaker’s long-thought-dead brother on him. Kane made his WWE debut in Sept. 1997 and tried to goad Undertaker into a match from that point on. Undertaker resisted until March, which coincidentally set their first encounter for WrestleMania 14 (best known for Steve Austin’s first WWE Championship victory). Undertaker took a nasty fall through the Spanish announce table, but ultimately vanquished Kane after three Tombstone piledrivers.

7) Undertaker vs. Batista (2007) … Undertaker had won the Royal Rumble earlier that year, last eliminating Shawn Michaels. He earned a shot at the title of his choosing and went after Batista. With two title matches that year, Batista vs. Undertaker for the World Championship and Cena vs. HBK for the WWE Championship, only one match could be in the main event. WWE put Batista and Undertaker on in the middle. They stole the show. Batista wrote in his autobiography that he received some heat for coming back after the match and yelling “Follow that!”

6) Undertaker vs. Edge (2008) … Interesting dynamic here, as Undertaker had never lost a match, while Edge could make the claim that he had never been pinned at WrestleMania (as he had lost a ladder match the previous year). He could still make that claim, as Undertaker made him submit to the “Hell’s Gate” gogoplata MMA maneuver.

5) Undertaker vs. Triple H (2012) … Billed as the “End of an Era,” these two part-time warriors competed in Hell in a Cell match with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee. Undertaker was battling injuries and this was only his second match in the previous 15 months. Triple H was slowing down his ring work to focus more on backstage duties. He had only wrestled a handful of times the previous year. HBK had been retired for two years and shown up only a couple times since. They told a great story of Triple H being jealous of Michaels, trying to do the one thing he could never do – end the streak. The question of whether Michaels would call it down the middle or try to end the streak as a referee was an added wrinkle. In the end, Undertaker prevailed and all three walked up the ramp together, having earned each others respect.

4) Undertaker vs. Ric Flair (2002) … In Flair’s autobiography, he wrote that this match was what brought him out of his funk, brought on by his own insecurities over his place in wrestling at his age. He and Undertaker had an intense, hard-hitting match. Flair was in top form here and Undertaker was at his vicious best, having recently turned heel. A run-in by Flair’s Four Horsemen “Enforcer” from the good ol’ days, Arn Anderson, wasn’t enough to end The Streak. Undertaker finished off Flair with a Tombstone to go 10-0.

3) Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (2010) … The last match of HBK’s storied career. The year before, he had attempted to end the streak. He wanted a rematch. Undertaker said yes, with the condition that he put his career on the line. Michaels said that if he couldn’t get the job done, he had no career. Given the main event slot over the WWE and World title matches, these two told a story like only they can do. Michaels tried to chop down the big man and Undertaker kept coming back for more. Undertaker started to show mercy at the end, only to be disrespected by HBK with a slap across the face. He hoisted Michaels up and with a leaping Tombstone piledriver, ended the career of one of the all-time greats.

2) Undertaker vs. Triple H (2001) … Earlier, we talked about end of an era with these two. WrestleMania 17 is unofficially considered the end of the “Attitude Era,” and these two were key figures in it. Triple H admitted he had done everything in WWE with the exception of defeat the Undertaker. The battle was on. And what a battle it was. Triple H was nearing his prime and Undertaker was looking good, having found his groove with the “American Badass” character. They brawled throughout the ring and into the crowd, with Undertaker finally getting the victory with his “Last Ride” power bomb maneuver.

1) Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (2009) … The twenty-fifth WrestleMania saw Undertaker and HBK steal the show and have arguably the greatest match in WM history, and no doubt a top 3 encounter. Words hardly do it justice. It’s all about telling a story and the magic that two men can make inside of a 20 x 20 ring. They did it. They crafted a masterpiece that will go down in history. The close calls, the submission attempts, the look of utter shock and exhaustion on Undertaker’s face after HBK kicks out of the Tombstone, they took the crowd on an emotional roller coaster. A must-watch for any fan of professional wrestling.

And there we have it. Twenty matches, in order. But, is it the correct order? If you don’t believe so, let me know. Comments and criticism is encouraged and appreciated.