Heard Yeezus yesterday. In other news, most of these questions were inspired by the gym last Wednesday.
Author: Kelen "B Hyphen" Conley
The Promos By Hyphen 2013 WWE Year End Awards Part 1
I’ve wanted to do some type of awards article for the longest time now. Then that turned into doing an awards podcast, but Thomas and I never brought that to fruition (my fault, I was too busy making music). Then the idea got away from me until I realized what just passed: WrestleMania NY/NJ (XXIX!).
The Email Exchange: The Walking Dead Theory
What began as an innocent few lines to the friend who got me to start watching The Walking Dead turned into a massive email fest about what will happen in tonight’s season finale. Her name has been changed to Lady Friend just in case she didn’t want her government out there. Email gold is what follows.
Kelen Conley: Who’s gonna die on Sunday
#1 – Herschel
I just don’t see him leaving the prison, I can’t. We talked about this.
#2 – Daryl
You’re gonna hate me for this one but his character arc seems to be ending with Merle dying.
#3 – Andrea
If she somehow lives through the Governor’s torture and makes it to season 4…I don’t know what I might do.
#4 – Carol/Judith/Maggie’s sister
If Daryl or Judith go then Carol can’t be far behind. The only way I see singing sister living is if she leaves before the battle starts.
#5 – Everyone in Tyreese’s party except Tyreese
They’ve pretty much made them expendable by not developing them much.
Who’s leaving before the war starts on Sunday
#1 – Glen & Maggie
I wonder if Herschel will perform the ceremony and then they decide to leave together…sounds so out of character for them but I could see it. But I doubt Maggie would leave if Herschel and less hot sister decide to stay.
I also have a strong feeling that we may go into season 4 with the group being down to Rick, Carl, Tyreese, Maggie, Glen, Michonne, and Daryl if they don’t kill him.
And the Governor’s not dying.
Lady Friend: #1 Agree. I think he’s a goner. I’ll be really surprised if this is wrong.
#2 It’ll never effing happen. From what the internet tells me, if they kill off Daryl, about 8 million watchers of their “record-breaking viewers” show will be GONE if they kill Daryl. I know the writers have done some goofy stuff, but they’ll never alienate that much of their audience. NEVER.
#3 Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. I feel like she’s served her purpose.
#4 Carol won’t go either. What I said about Daryl? Those same 8 million folks want her to hook up with Daryl. They won’t NOT give fans that at some point. I see next season, them getting together and they’ll kill her off then. As for Judith, I’m on the fence. On one hand, I see it, on the other, I can’t see them doing it because it’s a baby. And for whatever reason, it kind of ups the intensity that they have a baby to try to keep alive. Maggie’s sister, I feel like she should be a goner, but I feel like a saw somewhere that she is getting bumped up to a regular cast member. Besides, it’s only a matter of time before Carl is tapping that a**.
#5 Agreed. I think there is a slight chance that they will keep the sister around, but it’s not a very good chance. I’d say 20%.
#1 Maggie and Glen won’t leave because there is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that Rick and the group can win any sort of war without them. No way. Beside the fact that he is stepping up to be a little more of a leader, she’s a badass.
I really don’t think that the death count is going to be as high as last season. They had a LOT of extraneous characters on that farm. And most of the characters have been more developed this season. I do think there will be at least one “shocking” death, but I don’t think it’ll be some beloved character blood bath situation.
KC: Unless they fast forward a few years, Carl is at least 5 years away from getting that, zombie apocalypse or not.
I don’t really think they’ll kill Daryl or Carol but if we’re looking for a shocking death, I think it takes more than just Herschel. And we all know Rick is the main character, so he wouldn’t die.
I think the baby is a goner, they barely acknowledge her now, and the writer’s don’t want to deal with that. And if not Maggie sister becomes more of a regular, she needs to quit singing. It was cute when they found the prison but I’m over it. She needs to spread herself around if she wants to inspire hope.
The only reason I think Andrea makes it is because the writers like her character.
There’s no way they win the war period. The sneak peak from Talking Dead showed Woodbury busting through into the actual prison. I think the group has some form of plan (maybe they let out the walkers from other parts of the prison) but I still think Woodbury overruns them and they’re on the road again.
Maggie and Glen is the only romantic thing they have going for the show. Everybody else is just hooking up because it’s the end of the world. I feel like making sure they stay alive to come back in season 4 would be an option. And Rick said everyone had a vote in whether they stay or go.
I think more characters die than expected but last season did have a lot of stray characters. Maybe they’re banking on Tyreese’s group being taken out as the shock they’re looking for.
LF: That kid has to be 13 or so. I, for one, know several people who lost their V-card at around that age. (Dirty, dirty degenerates!)
I think Herschel would be shocking enough, honestly. I mean, he’s the old, moral, voice of reason that Rick goes to for advice and it would destroy Maggie. Plus, he lived through getting his leg cut off under the absolute worst of circumstances.
She does need to quit singing, or at least so much. But if they kill Herschel, I bet she at least cuts back on it. I think the idea is that she does it for him. You are horrible for saying that about her.
Ugh, the writers just need someone to make really bad decisions. They can do that with anyone. SHE DOESN’T HELP ANYONE AT ALL. What’s to like?
I do think that corralling walkers is going to play into their plan. And I bet they do better than expected. I’m not sure if they’ll “win” per se, but I don’t think it’s going to be a blow-out and I bet they don’t leave for good. If David Morrissey is coming back next season as the Governor, I really don’t think it’s going to be him chasing them all over Georgia. I think he’s going to get his ass at least partially handed to him. He’ll go back to Woodbury with his tail between his legs, torture the shit out of Andrea and try to re-group. I think the point is for the group to make it look like they’ve left, but they are still there somewhere. Element of surprise and not just with walkers.
Now that I think about it, I bet they do kill Tyreese’s sister. And that’s what sets him off. And gets him with Rick’s group somehow. There’s another shocking death for you because it’ll eff Tyreese up so bad.
Also, Milton is a GONER. And honestly, I’d like to see Rick’s group bring that Martinez or whatever the Hispanic guy’s name is. Him and Daryl could be some sort of badass, zombie destroying duo. But like Legolas and Gimli from Lord of the Rings. Where it’s always a big penis measuring contest for zombie kills. Could add a little levity.
Promos By Hyphen: The Blankety Blank You Love To Hate
Some people take this wrestling stuff too far.
“I hate CM Punk. CM Punk is a punk.”
“CM Punk is a jerk. I can’t believe he brought up Lawler’s heart attack/Paul Bearer’s death.”
“Triple H screws over X-Pac every chance he gets.”
It’s called heat. Heel wrestlers want the crowds to hate them. Do you think its ideal for CM Punk chants to outweigh “Rocky” chants when the WWE Title is on the line? I don’t think so. They want you to hate them. And some wrestlers are so good at it, you can’t help but still cheer for them.
One of my friends gives me shit about CM Punk every chance he gets. “Punk is gonna lose to the Undertaker. Punk is gonna get his ass whooped tonight. CM Punk isn’t very good at all.” Every time, I look at him and say, “It’s scripted. Would I want CM Punk to win all the time? Sure. But then I’d be complaining about how predictable the storylines are.” And still, he keeps right on talking about how much he doesn’t like him.
I think CM Punk peed in his Cheerios or something. This is all speculation of course.
Our boy John Cena gets a good share of hate but for different reasons. “Cena can’t wrestle. Cena is always champion. Cena needs to turn heel. Cena always wins. Cena is doing his Superman routine again.” I too had my issues with our boy Cena for most of these things…until he had that match with Brock Lesnar last year at Extreme Rules. I always respected Cena carrying on the face of the company tradition that Hulk Hogan ran with in the 80’s and there’s no denying the work he’s done for the Make-A-Wish Foundation alone, but from 2005-2011, he was WWE Champion or World Heavyweight Champion every year, even holding the WWE Title for 380 days from 2006 to 2007 when he suffered a legit injury. Despite that incredible streak of staying relevant in professional wrestling, the fans turned on him because…that’s what fans do. But any man who has the balls to let Brock Lesnar beat on him for 20+ minutes has all my respect. He may be predictable but you’ll never hear me shitting on our boy John Cena anymore. It also helps that he’s had two classic matches with Punk in the past year and a half as well.
But our boy John Cena will beat The Rock at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. And the hate will begin anew.
The Miz was somebody who used to make fellow TricycleOffense.com co-founder Thomas spew venom every time he appeared on screen. When he held the WWE Title in late 2010 to early 2011, Thomas would throw all kinds of colorful language out, as if that would make Miz go back to the locker room. “He can’t wrestle. He’s boring. This is our WWE Champion? I like Alex Riley more than him.” I personally love Miz as a heel and have ever since he had that mini feud with Cena in 2009 when he debuted the first anti-Cena shirt worn on WWE TV. Not to mention the damn near spot on imitation he did of The Rock leading up to WrestleMania XXVII. I felt bad for him when WWE’s writers didn’t know what do with him by mid-2011.
But now, I may be on the other side of the fence. While I don’t hate Miz the wrestler, I definitely hate Miz as a face. I know he’s only a face right now because The Marine 3: Homefront just came out but watching him toe the line between trying to be a crowd favorite and being his snarky, heel self is painful. And his terrible use of the Figure Four isn’t helping. Hopefully, he’ll get to return to his heel ways in due time but for now, I’m on the Miz hating bus. I did enjoy his interactions with Jericho and Wade Barrett on the last edition of Raw though.
I hated Triple H when he became a heel in 1999 and DX became a heel faction. But since I missed a huge chunk of wrestling from 2000-07, I missed a large part of his heel run that he’s so hated for and I actually have enjoyed watching his matches. Mike “The Buzz-Saw” Asti’s hate of Triple H stems from the aforementioned horrible treatment of X-Pac at his hands and isn’t really rational but I’ll humor him for a bit.
The man has won the most major championships in WWF/E history. Sure, they recognize Flair as having 16 (he has 22 total) but Trips has the most with one company.
He’s buried talent in the past. Some have said he’s never liked Jericho, he’s been accused of sending Umaga on the spiral that led to his WWE departure and ultimately his death, and he always seems to find his way into the best feuds, which normally results in his winning (like he will over Brock at WrestleMania NY/NJ).
And he botches a lot of spots.
In his defense, who cares how many major titles he’s won? WWE is about entertainment and Triple H can put on a show. He might not have the best move set or the best gimmicks or the best t-shirts (I still can’t find one I’d actually like to own) but when Trips hits that Spinebuster and then the Pedigree, forget about it. This is the reason he’s currently my Undisputed Champion on WWE ’13. And I know Asti will throw a mini fit when he reads that.
He’s buried a lot of talent but he’s also put over a great deal too. The whole WWE is guilty of not making stars as of late, so why single Triple H out as one of the reasons why? When the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac joined DX when the stable turned face in 1998, their career profiles couldn’t help but be boosted. Same with Randy Orton and Batista in Legacy, no matter how many times Hunter beat them in matches later on. He also helped put over one of the most unlikely major title holders ever in Chris Benoit and that’s not something to sneeze at.
Has he won a lot of matches that he didn’t deserve to? Sure. But isn’t that how professional wrestling works?
And yes, he does botch a lot of spots. I think more so when he was a regular worker, but a quick Google search produces tons of results about people complaining about his ring prowess.
I will say though, at WrestleMania XXVII, when The Undertaker attempted that over the top rope onto his opponent on the ground move, his foot caught. And wasn’t nothing on his Earth capable of stopping the spill he was about to take. But Triple H caught him and made it look like a halfway clean move again.
Any man who can catch The Undertaker out of the air in free fall doesn’t deserve to be bothered about the spots he misses occasionally.
On the other hand, I don’t see too many people disliking Dolph Ziggler, at least not in the past 2 years or so. When he was a mid-carder and the writers were letting him languish, I didn’t care about him. But it was some time in 2011 when I noticed he was the king of bumps. And he just puts on great matches. I have no idea why he’s still holding his Money In The Bank briefcase but Ziggles time is now. And no matter how much heat he tries to draw, I always seem to catch the crowds cheering for him. There’s no denying his abilities and having him pound on our boy John Cena isn’t going to help his heat either. I really enjoyed his interactions with Zack Ryder on his YouTube show and it’s a shame that we won’t be seeing another serious feud between those two before Ryder’s inevitable release. But seriously, ask any WWE fan their opinions of Ziggler. If they say they hate him, they have to be under the age of 15.
But a wrestler who I haven’t been enjoying as of late is The Rock. That’s right, one of my favorite wrestlers of the Attitude Era and my second professional wrestling era makes me mad on a regular basis.
The night he appeared on Raw in 2011 to announce that he was hosting WrestleMania XXVII was amazing. Thomas and I hung on his every word that night and I followed his run all the way to the night after WrestleMania when he and our boy Cena agreed to their match at ‘Mania XXVIII. In fact, he was the catalyst to why I even made the trek to Miami last year. I loved his promos when he was on TV, I loved his via satellite promos, and I laughed at every joke made at our boy John’s expense.
But when he appeared on Raw 1000 and announced that he had been magically granted a WWE Title shot at the Royal Rumble, something flipped. CM Punk turned heel that night with a GTS to the Great One but something still didn’t sit right with me.
The Rock was going to be WWE Champion again, just because he made time on his schedule to do it.
So let’s get the fanboy reactions out of the way: “No, I want Punk to stay Champion forever. When did The Rock earn a title shot? There’s no way WWE puts the belt on somebody who can’t be/won’t be on TV every week. I don’t want Punk to lose!”
WWE did this to build up hype for their plans to do a Rock/Cena rematch at WrestleMania NY/NJ. I was among those who were surprised to see Cena lose last year; now we know why. What better way for our boy John Cena to get revenge by not only beating the Rock but also by reclaiming the WWE Title that’s eluded him for a year plus?
So much for once in a lifetime.
That aside, The Rock has been pretty un-electrifying during this run. He always seemed to come up short against Punk verbally and neither of their matches made him look strong at all. Punk pinned him cleanly at least twice at Elimination Chamber and technically beat him at Royal Rumble before Vince came out and restarted the match. When he’s entertaining the crowd, he’s great. But put a wrestler in the ring with him, he stumbles. Hopefully, our boy Cena will bring him back to form.
But that new WWE Championship belt sure is cool.
I could go on to other past wrestlers like Hogan (he’s a dick and hated jobbing), Nash (said to be one of the reasons WCW got so bad due to booking control), Michaels (was a dick before he became born again), Bret Hart (Okay, I kind of personally hate him. Mostly because I missed his era and I don’t see what the big deal was. I do think the Screwjob was effed though.), or even Goldberg (always read he was a pain to work with, and he ended Hart’s career), but I feel like all of those guys were hated more for backstage reasons than what they did on camera.
To sum everything up, we’re supposed to hate wrestlers. We’re supposed to want them to lose or win or hit somebody with a chair or marry the boss’ daughter. That’s all part of the game of professional wrestling.
And can you imagine wrestling without those guys? Or if the writers did exactly what we thought they should do every week? I don’t even think there would’ve been an interest in having two major wrestling promotions in the 90’s, let alone the idea of Hulkamania in the 80’s. We need to hate these guys so that we keep pouring our money into this product so we can see them get their comeuppance. Because, at the end of the day, the golden rule still stands: good guys beat the bad guys. Just make sure you tack “eventually” to the end of that in the case of pro wrestling and you have yourself a start for any promotion, big or small.
But if I have to keep hearing about how much CM Punk sucks from my friend, my next column might be sent from a jail cell.
Best In The World. 4 Life.
Hyphenated Review: Breaking Bad – “Fifty-One”
Summary: Walt and Walt Jr. get the old Aztec back from the shop. After spotting his Heisenberg hat in the back seat, Walt sells the Aztec impulsively and buys a Chrysler 300. Once he sees Jr.’s disappointment, he swaps his PT Cruiser out for a fresh Dodge Challenger. At Madrigal’s Houston offices, Lydia gets tipped off about a DEA visit just before Hank and crew show up. She leads them to Ron Forenall, and after they leave with Ron in custody, she calls Mike back to tell him she has no one to move the methylamine. Mike tells her he’ll send someone else. Walt gives Skyler more cash to launder and she responds by telling him she wants the kids out of the house. Walt blows her off and asks for a birthday party and a chocolate cake. The next day, Jr. has to beg Skyler to break Walt’s bacon into a 51. This also signifies that a year has passed in the series. Hank and Gomez are still trying to figure out the missing pieces of Gus’s empire and decide to follow Mike. Hank gets offered the ASAC job in Albuquerque and accepts. Walt leaves a cook with Jesse early so that he can attend his birthday party; Skyler instead fixes him a store brought meal. Marie tells Hank about Skyler’s affair on the way to the White’s house. During dinner with Hank and Marie, Walt thanks them for their support over the past year; Skyler says nothing and attempts to drown herself in their pool before Walt saves her. Jesse goes to the Houston Madrigal to pick up the latest shipment of methylamine, when he and Lydia discover a tracker on one of the barrels. Marie and Hank agree to keep Jr. and Holly while Skyler recovers; Walt is livid that Skyler found a way to disobey him even though Skyler was trying to keep to keep the children safe from their criminal activities. Walt dares Skyler to figure out a way to stop the kids from returning home, and when she can’t, she says she’s only biding her time until Walt’s cancer returns. Walt gets a call from Jesse the next morning, who informs him Mike is ready to kill Lydia because he believes she planted the tracker. After a vote saves Lydia’s life, Walt says that the cooks must not stop. Jesse gives Walt a watch for a birthday present, which Walt uses to tell Skyler that she’ll come around as Jesse has.
Thoughts:
It’s pretty apparent after this episode’s cold opening that Walt is officially at zero fucks status. After returning (rather burning) Jr.’s flashy car in Season 4 because of Skyler’s protests, he is definitely beyond the point of caring about anyone other than himself now. Even though he still says things about his activities being for the family, he’s been completely won over by being the head of a criminal enterprise.
Lydia’s actions still seem super suspicious to me here. Even with just enough notice, she turns over her meth transport guy rather easily (and I’m sure he’s going to get added to the hazard pay roster). I have a feeling that she’s going to eventually turn on Walt, Jesse, and especially Mike, but she’s just biding her time until the right moment.
Skyler seems to be coming out of her early season coma as she starts challenging Walt about keeping the kids in the house. And actually, this is one of her more reasonable requests even though Jr. is sure to get pissy about it. Lord knows the Whites have had a hell of a year; them needing time to mend their marriage through everything that’s happened kind of makes sense…to everyone except Walt. He promptly smacks down the idea and instead asks for a party and a chocolate cake, like he’s not running a criminal enterprise and they’re just a normal happy family. Which in his mind, they sort of are.
Then for the third time in the series, we see Walt receiving a plate of bacon that gets broken into his age (this time at Jr.’s urging, Skyler ain’t have no time for that).
And we’ve reached the year point! 4 and a half seasons have taken place in one year’s time. This is a pretty ludicrous concept if you think about it. Mild-mannered Walter White goes from teacher and submissive husband to drug kingpin in a year? I’ll give you 18 months or 2 years, but not one! But in the world of Breaking Bad, nothing should surprise me.
At this point, Hank and Gomey are grasping at straws. None of Fring’s men will talk and the only lead they have is with air tight Mike. And I have a feeling Hank is going to cost himself his career over pursuing this case (and ultimately, his brother-in-law). He took the promotion but you know, Hank Schrader is one stubborn motherfucker.
And Skyler has gone from fear of Walt to total indifference in short order. From her “homemade dinner” to her after dinner swim to her smoking in the house at episode’s end, you can see she’s past her breaking point. All she wanted was the kids to be safe and Walt isn’t having it. It couldn’t have been that long ago in real time that Walt was ready to relocate the entire family. Maybe his cockiness is really shielding his fear of retaliation for everything he’s chosen to do in the past year?
As hard as it is for me to write these words, Skyler White was the star of this episode. The last thing I expected was for her to attempt to drown herself (poorly, but still). I expected her to act out somehow as she’s prone to do when she doesn’t get her way but spraying her family members with blood from slitting her wrist was probably a little overdramatic, even for her. But the line she delivered about waiting for Walt’s cancer to come back? STONE COLD. And it was one of the first times this season that Walt seemed truly affected by something going on around him.
Lydia is gunning for Skyler’s “Most Hated Woman on Breaking Bad” title and her “discovery” of a tracking device when Jesse arrives for the pickup only furthers her case. One of the amazing traits that Jesse has retained the whole series is his reaction when shit goes bad and this is no different here. I personally wish that Mike had been there (impossible with the tail and the fact he’s under suspicion as Fring’s right hand) just so he could’ve shot her in the head the moment she started freaking out.
But in order to stay in the meth business, they need Lydia, so I was super torn between Mike and Walt in their final confrontation of the episode. Walt winning out stays true with his invincibility mode he’s been flaunting all season but you still a get sense that this new meth partnership won’t be lasting much longer. This is probably another reason why Walt doesn’t want to stop cooking; he doesn’t want to start over with new partners and he wants to take as much advantage of their current situation that he can.
The watch was a classic Jesse gesture towards how much Walt means to him even though Walt continues to never reciprocate. But in what had to be the weirdest episode ending ever, the watch ticks loudly as Walt sleeps and then seemingly explodes as we fade to black. While Jesse (or Mike) could have planted some form of bomb in the watch, that just wouldn’t be Breaking Bad’s style.
The watch ticked down and blew up like bomb so it’s signifying the destruction of something or someone is the series. Here are some thoughts:
- The final break between Skyler & Walt
- Jr.’s relationship with Skyler is ruined
- Maybe Mike killed Lydia behind Walt’s back
- Perhaps Jesse (or Mike) did plant a bomb in the watch
- Maybe Walt’s time on top is over
- The DEA finally broke the case open
- Or something happened to Jesse while Walt slept
All of this is mere speculation however, we could get to midseason’s end and still not know what it meant. Or maybe that wasn’t a bomb exploding…was it a gunshot? Did someone shoot Walt in the head? Skyler?!
I hate you Skyler.1
Promos By Hyphen: Elimination Chamber Blues
I can’t get used to seeing The Rock with CM Punk’s belt around his shoulder.
Yes, I know that Punk lost the belt to Rock at the Royal Rumble. I watched what happened live. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. I am a CM Punk guy after all.
But so far Rock’s run as Champ has been pretty…meh.
He won the belt at the Rumble, celebrated with the people the next night on Raw and gave Punk his rematch for Elimination Chamber. He then took a week off with no explanation given other than us assuming he was handling movie stari business. He returned this Monday to tell a pretty hilarious story about buying a car from a crackhead when Punk confronted him. Rock told Punk to come into the ring, which subsequently lead to him getting a GTS and his belt taken.
Some Champ.
I haven’t been a huge fan of Rock’s run this time. His first Raw back in January, he called Punk Cookie Puss. His promo game was off and it just seemed like he was losing against the best promo guy in the WWE (that would be Punk). Not that going up against someone who’s had no real time off other than legit injury would be easy for anyone but come on!1 This is The Rock we’re talking about! His picture is next to the word promo in the wrestling dictionary!
But no, it’s not happening. Rock has constantly lost any war of words with Punk. While he has gotten much better since that first January encounter, any face off either ends in fisticuffs or Rock cursing incessantly at the former Champ.
And none of those things make for a strong face Champion.
But we all know where this is leading: By the end of WrestleMania NY/NJ (WWE apparently thinks calling the thing XXIX is a bad idea), our boy John Cena will be the WWE Champion again.
But we’ll get to that in a minute.
What I’m really concerned about is how disappointing the Elimination Chamber PPV is going to be. I’ve watched faithfully for 3 years now and I love the Chamber matches. While last year’s SmackDown match was a bit boring other than creative teasing a Santino win, you really can’t go wrong with any six men you put inside the structure.
And I won’t lie, I’m excited for the SmackDown Elimination Chamber #1 Contender match. If WWE was planning a swerve anywhere, it would be here. Ziggler is not in the match but I think his current hard-on for Chris Jericho will somehow lead to him interfering in a Jericho victory2 or he’ll choose to finally cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase on Alberto Del Rio after he beats Big Show a third time this Sunday. If Ziggy cashes in, that would mean Jericho would have to win the Chamber. Right? Right? I’ve been wrong before though.
But not having a Raw Elimination Chamber match? Even with The Shield versus Team CenaBackMus3 in the Chamber?
Asinine.
It’s bad enough that Rock wouldn’t go in the Chamber4 but to avoid the match altogether because “John Cena has to do something this PPV and we don’t want him in a Chamber match with the Rock when we plan on having their rematch at WrestleMania NY/NJ” is annoying.
It just seems like a complete waste of time to even put the structure up for one match. They could have done a live SmackDown tonight with the Chamber Contender’s match and called the PPV We Don’t Want Your Money, Save It For WrestleMania. Because that’s exactly what I plan on doing.
- While Rock/Punk II is a great draw, there’s no way Rock doesn’t walk out of the match still Champ.
- ADR5 should retain against Show again but I really think Ziggler cashes in now. A Jericho/Ziggler feud for the World Heavyweight Title is okay in my book. Is it possible Show wins and then gets cashed in on again?6
- SmackDown Chamber match: All signs point to crowning Jericho. Which probably means Swagger will end up winning. Dark horse: Randy.
- CenaBackMus vs. The Shield: Really? Really? Really? Do I have to put you in a weak figure four? CenaBackMus for the win.
- Kaitlyn vs. Tamina: I’m going with Kaitlyn just to leave hope that there might be a decent feud leading up to ‘Mania. But the Divas are so irrelevant anymore that I don’t know why I’m still typing about them.
Then you have Brock Lesnar hanging around. Apparently, Triple H isn’t ready to demand his ‘Mania rematch so until that time, Brock is chilling. And breaking hips.
And then you have this stipulation added to the WWE Title match that makes no sense: The Rock can lose the belt on a disqualification. So:
- Someone will come out and attack Punk i.e. Lesnar/The Shield/or someone we don’t expect and Rock will be disqualified. But then the match will be restarted AGAIN and Rock will win, AGAIN. Which gives him two wins over Punk that were handed to him with special assistance. And that makes him look weak going into ‘Mania against our boy John Cena.
- Rock will do something borderline legit that gets him disqualified, something that refs never call a match for. It would be the opposite of the no-call on the 49ers last drive in the Super Bowl basically.
- Or Lesnar comes out and is supposed to attack Punk, attacks Rock then Punk, then leaves with Heyman screaming his trademark “What did you do?!”7
Which brings us back to square one: our boy John Cena will be WWE Champion come April 8th. He’s either going to get there by beating The Rock or CM Punk or both at the same time or a mystery challenger we don’t expect. But it will come to pass.
After a year plus of CM Punk as Champ and then this interlude with The Rock, WWE is going to press the reset button. Our boy Cena as WWE Champ for the 11th time in his career. And I don’t hate our boy Cena, I just get a little tired of the same old stories.8 And it doesn’t help the future of the company to put the belt on our boy Cena AGAIN.
But it helps the bottom line now. And The Rock won’t be around as much after this round of WrestleMania. If anything, we should be celebrating the fact he can still compete at a high level at 40 years old.9
And I still have my fingers crossed Stone Cold will come out of retirement to face Punk at WrestleMania XXX. How wonderful would that be if Austin can still go like Rock can? Dreams are nice to have.
But what will the WrestleMania card even look like? I’ll take a stab at it:
- The Rock (c) v. John Cena v. CM Punk – WWE Title Match
- Dolph Ziggler (c) v. Chris Jericho – World Heavyweight Championship Match
- Antonio Cesaro (c) v. Ryback – United States Title Match
- Wade Barrett (c) v. Mark Henry or Jack Swagger or Sheamus – Intercontinental Title Match
- Triple H v. Brock Lesnar – Stipulation Match (Perhaps Career on the line?)
- Maybe an Undertaker match but I heard he’s out of shape…
- And a Divas Title match (Either pre-show or mid-card. Maybe Team Hell No drops the belts pre-show or mid-card as well if they haven’t by then.)
That’s a pretty boring lineup and that’s just off the top of my head without any research or consideration for current feuds. Not to mention the exclusion of Randy, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Big Show, ADR, and The Shield. But remember, if this comes to pass, you heard it here first.
I could go to WrestleMania NY/NJ but I’m passing just because I don’t want to see Cena beat Punk for the belt live and/or I don’t want to see Punk in some meaningless match earlier in the card. It’s just amazing to see the corner creative has backed themselves into with their booking since Rock’s return.
But at least we have Jericho back. And winning. Take that Radcliffe.
Hyphen’s Long Travelled Thoughts: The Man Who Has Too Many Ideas
Originally posted at http://hymcfly.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-man-who-has-too-many-ideas.html
I wish you could put 100% effort into 1 thing…instead of 1000 different projects, you would be efficient & awesome at it. – @OfficiallyCHRIS
This was a tweet I got from my friend Chris the other day upon his reading of my three months late D-Why article for TricycleOffense.com. While it could be passed off as a dismissive compliment, it’s really bothered me for days now. He drove the point home further when we met up to watch football the following Sunday.
Essentially, he was saying that if I could manage to stop my mind from wandering from project to project all the time and focus on one thing, I would be great at it. The way I do things now, I have a lot of good projects, but nothing amazing.
As I’ve chronicled before, I planned on releasing The Mind’s Mixtape volume 4 and my first album, Soon You’ll Understand by my 30th birthday in January and then fading from the music scene completely,. After semi-persuing a career for the past 8 years, I wanted to focus on other things. Writing mostly, which is one of the reasons TricycleOffense.com was born. But I also wanted to start working on book ideas I’ve had on the backburner, podcasting, and myabe getting back to fanfiction for funsies. Stuff that would occupy me but also allow for me focus more on my relationships and bettering my life.
Recording was going well until this month. I have 7 or 8 songs of the album done and 6 or 7 of the mixtape. And I’ve had multiple opportunities to record and I just haven’t. I partially blame discovering The Walking Dead but really, it’s because my mind is always wandering.
Because it’s November, I considered trying NaNoWriMo again, even thought I’ve never completed a chapter, let alone 100,000 words. I’ve had multiple Victory Jumpoff Radio ideas even though I haven’t had a episode since the Aaliyah/Michael one. I’ve been mentally redesigning bhyphen.com, again. I played PS2 on Sunday and Monday instead of recording, even though my mic was less than 6 feet away.
But my biggest distraction has been writing for TricycleOffense.com. Currently, I have a weekly series chronicling the Raiders season (it’s starting to be a task), I’m 5 reviews behind on reviewing all of last season’s Breaking Bad episodes, I’ve been contributing the random WWE article here and there, and I write random articles. I’ve been trying to keep my production around 3 articles a week and at one point I was trying to do 5 a week.
On top of that, I’m the site’s webdesigner and main editor of all content that’s not mine. So while we don’t have too much content Monday-Thursday, Friday-Sunday I’m posting Trike House Party, Tom Deja’s Moves Like Curtis, and Geeks Of Gridiron.
Pretty much it’s overwhelming but only overwhelming in the sense of writing though. I can do the web stuff and editing in my sleep. But I can’t continue to write articles on a regular basis.
Back to Chris’ quote; I want to make these last projects great, not just good because I was doing 6 other things at the time. So I’m stopping everything that’s not music related.
- No articles.
- No podcasting (I might be convinced to do a guest spot or two).
- No fiction or fanfiction.
I’m still going to run TricycleOffense.com but if I don’t do something now, the music won’t be finished on time. And that has to be (one of) my main priorities. I have faith that the other writers will be able to carry the workload.
Meanwhile, it’s back to music mode. Thanks for your patience.
